27 July 2009

Cute girl was cute, is gone

Just got back from a weekend at a music festival, the first one of them I've been to in 11 years. Much good about the experience, some bad too - mostly related to my state of being, my mind, and prinicpally the weather.

These things happen - glorious warm sun one day, pissing rain and biting wind the next. Just as the bands on show varied from fun to fabulous, to "fuck-I-want-to-deafen-myself-just-to-not-hear-you". All to be expected.

I should also have expected to feel lots of "alone in the crowd" moments; I don't know why I don't engage. It may have something to do with how I appreciate music - a very individual and powerful sensation - but I suspect it is more wide ranging than that as I've had such moments in crowds for other things too. And it isn't indicative, necessarily, of being there on my own; nor is it a slight on people I might actually be with.

I can't explain it, though I reckon its all tied in with my not being outgoing and finding reaching out to people - or accepting them in, though that is easier - difficult. As such I end up spending a lot of time beating myself up internally and this weekend was no different, especially when the folks I was with are able to just approach anyone and everyone, even to mug band members for hairy coo photies.

And so people pass me by. Cute girl was cute, is gone.

5 comments:

MrArt said...

Ah crap. Were you just at Truck? I was there. Didn't think it was your type of indie. Will have to be more organised next time!

Graham said...

Not Truck, no - though I know people who did go; I was up at Indietracks - most not my scene but some right up my alley.

Truck does appeal though - some of the stuff around the fringes at least - if only because I could easily day-trip it...

MrArt said...

Ah well then, so we didn't miss each other. Let me know when you're next knocking about in Bristol / Bath. I'm living in Oldfield Park now, near your old haunt.

Glad I've managed to figure out how to comment on your blog. It defeated me for several years.

Graham said...

Oldfield Park eh? What are you up to there?

Heard from Sam recently too; should definitely try to set something up late summer/early autumn...

MrArt said...

I'm working for IPL. It's geek-tronic. But OK really. I get on reasonably well with my housemates too.

See you in the not-too-distant future!