07 September 2007

I really need to rant

So just picture a torrent of crap whinges, exclaimations, angry jibes and lamentations about life, the universe and everything here.

I'm not actually going to rant about everything I need to rant about because I have done so too many times in the past and it really gets old - not just to read or hear, but to write or say, too.

My emotional coffin has warped; I am a walking mental scar. Or to sum up: not a happy bunny (but when was I ever?).


Garry G said...

But what is the actual problem? You're my mate but I find you incredibly frustrating as you have so many more opportunities than problems but you insist on whingeing. I don't want to put your feelings down but stanf back and look at others lives, the World is your smorgasboard.

If you're still whining when I finish my TEFL I'll stop to bitchslap you on my way to Africa.

Graham said...

What is the problem? Everything, and yet nothing; and the whole range in between. I can't (or won't? Perhaps I won't let myself) answer the question properly for reasons supplementary to why I didn't actually type out a long rant.

But when it comes down to it, for some reason every little thing weighs a ton of bricks when it lands on my shoulders, no matter how objectively feather-like it might be. I'm too tired (not too weak) - whether through work, chronic insomnia or just being a wuss - to hold my head high despite the weight. I'm well aware of how good I have it compared to others from an external perspective and this just compounds the problem.

That, and a talent for self-isolation/the alienation of others.

A favourite lyric sums it up: "Thought [...] a hazard to the emotionally challenged"

Garry G said...

Sorry but I'm beyond empathising with this sort of stuff. You obviously have enough insight to see that the problem lies entirely within yourself so you're going to have to deal. Stop doing this crap to all of us and start living ye glaikit git!

Graham said...

I do not ask for empathy, or even sympathy. And yes, change must come from within.

There is much more to it than that, but I cannot type it succinctly, nor explain well to others that which I cannot fully explain to myself.

One thing I do know though is that I don't have that which would be most helpful: friends around me (as in those I could see easily and often).

Rosa said...

I have an idea!


Just do it. (and no i'm not sponsored by some multi-national exploitive shoe production company).

And if you say 'what's it?', well, don't make me come down there oxford boy!

Also: I periodically have feelings of isolation/alienation. Embrace them! you're never going to be like anyone else. or want to hang out with other people. Isn't that great! It's so much fun being weird! (but yet so normal).

Graham said...


I sincerely wish I could.